So I was caught in this cycle of feeling bad and TOTALLY running away from how things REALLY were. I was scared, ya know?
I was scared that I'd lose the love of my family and friends. I was scared of becoming Mr Hyde. I was scared most of all that my hopes and dreams, that POWERFUL vision of all that I knew that was meant to accomplish would go unrealized.
I walked through some dark places. Hopeless, hurting. I was so lost!
Something I didn't realize at the time was that were heavenly powers at work preparing a path for my escape, just waiting until I was ready to see it.
God is never further than a sincere prayer away. Deferring to his wisdom illuminates the path to successful and happy living.
It's like there were 1000 people giving me 1000 solutions. But until I turned to that quiet voice inside that guides with surety I would be "ever learning, but never able to come to a knowledge of the truth."
So, broken, I asked for help. And with persistence over time, I began to see myself as someone worth saving. I also started to face who I was being, and what I wanted to become. It wasn't as scary as it had been before. That honesty with myself and others has broken so many chains that keep me held down to addiction.
When you realize who you are, I mean REALLY who you are, that vision breathes life into you and everything you do. And sure there's still falls, that's how we learn, but with that vision of self comes the ability to love, and understand and be patient with yourself. THAT'S what makes the process of recovery work. The secret's in becoming fully immersed in the journey."
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